I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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