Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
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I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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