phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
