Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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