How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
sex in a hospital.. check
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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