Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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