you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
