Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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