he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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