She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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