Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just google imaged poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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