That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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