Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
