watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
