happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
