we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
