Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
