peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
