So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize