There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
