im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says