U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
