I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets