We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird