I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Its about making memories worth repressing
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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