so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
