Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
