trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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