I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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