I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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