You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
