It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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