can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
