I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
