My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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