ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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