I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
