I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
