Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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