do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We are all done wearing pants today
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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