Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize