I saw his package. It spoke to me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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