Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
