We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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