Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
