I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
