No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
