Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
