Little spoons don't ask big questions
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
