so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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