Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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