It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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