I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
