I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
