Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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