come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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