3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize