I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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