I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
