my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
