Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
