wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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