So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
