we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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