I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
