Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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