..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
