Your mouth is God's brothel.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize